Fullest Stack Developer

Job Description

We are looking for a web developer who can walk on water, turn water into code (and preferably Wine too), and create websites that will make users weep with joy.

You should have 10 years of experience with React (preferably someone who created react), be able to write a complete CMS in a weekend, and have an uncanny ability to read clients' minds.
We want someone who can work 24/7, who never gets tired, and who can juggle 20 projects at once while solving complex algorithms in their sleep.

You should be a master of SEO, PPC, SMM, CMS, CRM, and OMG. If you don't know what OMG stands for, don't even bother applying because OMG we wont hire you.

You should be able to write clean, efficient code while blindfolded and with one hand tied behind your back (preferably both hands).

You should be familiar with every programming language ever invented, even the ones that haven't been invented yet. We prefer candidates who have built a website that has amassed a total gross income of at least a million dollars.
If you meet these qualifications, we'd love to hear from you. We offer unlimited vacation time (because you won't have time to take any), a fully stocked kitchen (because you'll never leave the office), and a salary that reflects your exceptional skills (but is still probably not enough).

So what are you waiting for? Apply now and join us in our mission to change the world one website at a time!

Afraid of applying? Don't worry we'll give you a guaranteed position starting at -50,000$ a year.(You pay us to keep you on the team and by team i mean you and me and by me i mean you)